Hit or Miss

‘You know why Cheney’s daughter is supporting the Republican ticket… she likes Bush.’ I had a lovely time at a dinner party / bbq last night at the home of the only other out gay man on faculty or staff at Truman. He’s a former student who’s teaching English here only for one year. He and his partner make such a cute couple I almost wanted to throw up. Their house is absolutely adorable and decorated in the typical kitschy, post-gay mode. And they effortlessly dispensed bon mots (like the one quoted above) all night.

It all makes me feel again that I’m a complete failure as a homosexual. I can’t cook, or dance, or (because I’m color blind) decorate or pick out clothes. Many a straight woman has taken me to the mall with her, only to wind up hours later frustrated and vowing never to shop with me again. I’m not particularly good looking, nor do I have a biting sense of humor. The only gay stereotype I exhibit is my love of showtunes, but really how productive is that?

If I have to be gay, shouldn’t I at least be getting some of the fringe benefits?