Hit or Miss

“Remember those games we used to play?” I rented Chuck and Buck the other day, but couldn’t get past the first 10 or 15 minutes of the film. It’s been characterized as a “gay stalker” movie — Buck has never grown up or shaken his fixation on his former next-door-neighbor and friend Chuck, now engaged and a record producer in L.A. From what I’ve seen in the trailer, Buck moves to L.A. and tries to rekindle their old friendship and break up Chuck’s impending marriage.

Just seeing the first little bit of the film touched off some powerful memories that I’m not entirely comfortable in revisiting. All my life, I’ve had irrational obsessions over straight male friends, a pattern that continued all the way through to grad school. None of them were as severe as Buck’s fixation on Chuck, but in their own way they all still impeed my emotional development. I still continue to deliberately place myself in self-defeating contexts and environments (like living in rural Missouri) that block any chance of my forming an adult romantic realtionship with another man, but at least I recognize that fact now.

2 responses so far (Respond)

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I know how you feel exactly – some of these films, you watch them and you think, what the fuck. Why does this make me feel uncomfortable. But try telling straight men or women that they are only ALLOWED to get emotionally attached to 5-10% of the people that they meet that they might find attractive. We are forced by circumstances to aim to be MORE well adjusted, MORE able to deal with our lusts than straight people – and it’s a bit of a bloody effort at times (particularly for those of us who grew up in less than liberal surroundings)…

Tom | 24 Feb 2001
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hey.. you should finish watching it. i know it’s really uncomfortable at the beginning, but it gets pretty funny as it progresses and it even has a bit of a happy ending.

vic | 1 Mar 2001