Hit or Miss

Queer as Folk.

What did I do for New Year’s Eve? I secreted myself up into my brother’s room (who was conveniently out for the night) so that I could watch the QAF marathon on Showtime – ready the whole time with one finger on the remote to change the channel in case I should hear my mother on the stairs, coming to check on what I was doing (yes, I know I’m pathetic).

I was prepared to hate it. As I’ve written before, I’m often very critical of the “gay culture” and don’t feel like I fit in. I was prepared to write off the show as too narrowly focused on the buff, beautiful, bar-going segment of the gay (male) community.

Funny thing is, I loved the show. I saw much more of myself in the characters of Ted and Michael than I expected to. And I saw many facets of the gay men I’ve know in all the characters. Even if it didn’t 100% reflect my existance (how could it? Downtown Pittsburg is like a foreign country compared to rural Missouri), it felt closer than just about any other depiction of gay life I’ve even seen on the big or small screen.

I especially identified with Ted, the ordinary shlub who
had retreated from pursuing real realtionships because of feelings of inadequacy and turned to the internet. That’s a pattern I noticed in myself before I even moved to my current rurual town. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I agreed to take this job and move here? I’ve often uncomfable around other gay men, terrified about what I say or do least I embarass myself. Now I don’t have to worry about it, becaus e I don’t have have any gay friends in Kirksville.

Anway, I’m glad my mom didn’t catch my watching the show. That would have been a little embarrasing and not at all the way I’d want my homosexuality to be acknowledged. I should have come out to my parents a long time ago (if I can be out on a job interview, why can’t I be to my folks?), but part of me just keeps waiting for my Mom to force the issue, the way that Justin’s mother did.

I just don’t think I’d want my mother to watch the show, lest she get wrong impressions about what my life is like. But I guess I’d rather her watch QAF than most of the other sterotypical gay roles on TV and in film — my mom and I caught Sandra Bullock’s Miss Congeniality the other day, which had (of course) depictions of fey male pagent consultants and militant lesbians.

3 responses so far (Respond)

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Matt, A few people I have talked to felt QAF was too stereotypical and did not like it. I thought it was pretty good. I haven’t been to a lot of clubs but quite a bit of it seemed real to me. By the way, while the story is supposed to be set in Pittsburgh, I am reliably told that it was filmed in Toronto.

You mentioned in your journal that you sometimes had a hard time identifying with gay culture. We have been having a discussion in my journal for the past month about such issues. You might want to check it out.

Anyway, I have enjoyed reading your journal. Kill the bugs and keep on writing. Good luck in your coming out process with your Mom. Tim

Tim | 2 Jan 2001
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Kirksville…home of Truman State University 🙂
Ok, sidebar is over….I think QAF does an adequate job of not being too superificial, while retaining the reality of what most of homosexuality is. I could stand on my soapbox and preach about why I think that most gay men and their whorish tendencies make me upset, but the stark reality is that that really does go on….
The best part, I think, is that everyone can probably identify with some part of every character….sign of good character development and thoughtfulness of plot. We’ll see if it remains that way…

Glenn | 3 Jan 2001
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I am a straight, 30 year old woman who absolutely LOVES QAF. Please don’t ask me to explain, but I have always had a strange fascination with the male gay culture. QAF gives me an “in” to the culture that I could not normally get in real life. I live in Houston, Texas and Montrose is a huge homosexual part of the town but I always feel like an outsider when I visit the area. I find the gay male lifestyle so free and creative and loving sometimes. Probably though the deeper reason why I love it so much is because it would be a safe haven for me to have male friends (I am not big on female relationships and have a hard time relating, but I am also a very beautiful woman who cannot make a male friend without him wanting to be/marry/sleep with me,) Either way, I say come out to your family when you are ready. Enjoy QAF for its entertainment value and the minds it is opening, and know that there are people out there like me who support you and love your weblog. Take care.

Mystery Girl | 4 Jan 2001