16 Sep 2003
Alone in a crowd
Fortunately Mike talked me out of going to the Light Cycle last night in Central Park — sounds like it was kind of a washout.
We went for tea instead at Tea and Sympathy and then for a beer at the Art Bar. I feel really comfortable hanging out with Mike, but I know I’m wearing out my welcome as a new friend.
Pretty much ever other social situation I’ve been in since moving to NY has made me feel extremely awkward. For example, I felt really out of place at the MovableType gathering last weekend (which no one seems to have blogged about afterward). I was totally intimidated meeting Anil and Cam, and when I was introduced to Jason Kottke I mumbled something about being his subway stalker and received a wan little Kottke-smirk. I think Anil’s girlfriend felt sorry for me because she talked to me for a while. After striking up a conversation with Matt, Cam wandered over and launched into a bizarre description of JonTitor.com (which I hadn’t seen). Not feeling like I had anything to add, I just walked out without talking to anyone.
There’s a certain anxiety I feel when meeting new people, unless it’s a very controlled situation (like the single’s group meeting I went to, which was also a bust). I’ve never wanted to give it much credence, but I’m really starting to wonder if I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder. It’d be one thing if it just affected my personal life, but I find that it’s been a factor on the job as well.
Against my better judgment, I think I’m going to check out the Gothamist / 601am Happy Hour on Thursday.
Come to the Happy Hour! We have Social Anxiety Disorder also, but tend to it by chattering away nervously!
Jen | 16 Sep 2003