So, despite the seemingly insurmountable odds, I have actually met a guy here in The Middle of Nowhere, Missouri. Problem is, I get kind of all choked up around him because I can’t stop thinking, “what if this is my one chance to make a gay friend here in Kirksville? What if I come off as a real asshole or an idiot and then he doesn’t want to be friends with me and then I won’t have anyone to hang out with during the time I work here at Truman?”

Man, I gotta get a life.